Dowry Disease, Our Ornament these Days!

Seeking information about the Social Transactions, usually misinterpreted as "Wedding" in our society, left me completely numb.. I wonder why the acid attacks, bride burning, stove bursting  and domestic violence followed by perplexing suicidal deaths only occur with women coming along with insufficient dowry.

Marriage has become an occasion for insane displays on spending  outrageously lavish valimas, mehndi banquets, jewellery, give aways, dowry and similar acts. What is interesting and downright appalling is that all classes of society are guilty of this madness.

We as a society fail to understand that relations built on money are even fragile like money.

The money spent on dowry can be better consumed in business, education, health and over-

all well being of family.

We live in a state where 80% of the 20 million (approx.) lives are living down the line of poverty. Yet we are proud to give away 7500% of monthly income as the tax to the groom for accepting our daughter! The fact remains there, more dowry better life partner! People have a perception of the later discussed thought, However, who is going to guarantee the safe, contented and successful marriage of your daughter? Still the parents out of the fear sacrifice their whole life savings at a risk. The other who does not afford even that has to see their young daughters working to collect more money and eventually turning grey haired women. Our society where the "Saasu Maa" wants a 16 years old Doctor for her son , we better describe as "Sola saal ki khoobsurat, gori chitti, dekhne me Katrina, kaam karne me Masi Sakeena, Doctor Bahu, jo Gol Rotian banana  bhi janti ho, aur kaam karne ghar se bilkul na nikle" type girl, who will consider those chubby grey haired women in their late thirtees?

40 lac silver haired women in Pakistan? Every fourth

home finds more than 2 women yet to marry.

This late marriage problem leads to a variety of social problems in young Adults. Since we have to sustain in a Male dominant Society, so if a man marries a girl and leaves her because of lesser dowry, he is accountable to no one. He will marry as many times as we wills, but the woman has to die single, out of the stigma the she is a "Divorcee". She can not marry again, have family and has no rights to continue her normal life, as her former husband. No one is responsible for the trauma, mental illness, negativity, depression and emotional disorders she has to go through all alone.Thus, parents are encouraged for an easy solution ( a whole campaign runs in UP, India) to get rid of the baby girls' fetus and pay 500 for her abortion  rather than 5 Lacs later! This is how we respect our women.

The *Smart* Solution presented by South Asian Society

Incidents of degrading treatment and blackmailing of the bride are prevalent, which usually result in recognized psychiatric illnesses and ultimately suicides. In extreme cases wherein the husband or in-laws are not content with the dowry, they may even go to the extent of killing the bride and the most savage form of such kind of dowry abuse is “bride burning”. Last year the city of Daska witnessed heartrending and unprovoked murder of a 25-year-old woman caused by ruthless act of forced acid consumption. As per police reports, her in-laws forced her to swallow acid solely due to the reason that she failed to arrange a sizeable amount of dowry in her marriage. This act of unmitigated evil has highlighted an attention deserving social dilemma, which like an epidemic has infected major chunk of population in Pakistan.

Will she be able to stare herself in the mirror ever again? Can she forget the curves of her true face..

Who is responsible for the gross feeling you get after looking at her?

What a co-incidence? Every time stove explosion eats up a bride.

Never a mother-in- law.

Amongst dowry-related violence, bride burnings, also known as "stove deaths" are widely reported. In 1988 a survey showed that 800 women were killed in this manner, in 1989 the number rose to 1100, and in 1990 it stood at 1800 estimated killings. According to the Progressive Women's Association, such attacks are a growing problem and, in 1994 on International Women's Day, announced that various NGOs would join to raise awareness of the issue.  Newspapers in Lahore in a six-month period (1997) reported on average 15 attacks a month. Women's e-News reported that 4,000 women had been attacked in this manner in Islamabad's surroundings over an eight-year period, and that the average age range of victims was between 18 and 35, with an estimated 30 percent being pregnant at the time of death. The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan reported that about four women are killed in this manner every day, by either family members or husbands. This Condition will prevail till the end of time, unless the so called men, actually act like one.

Dowry is actually shameful, both for the presenter and reciever

Shahnaz Bukhari, who runs the Progressive Women's Association in Islamabad, has said of such attacks: "Either Pakistan is home to possessed stoves which burn only young housewives, and are particularly fond of genitalia, or looking at the frequency with which these incidences occur there is a grim pattern that these women are victims of deliberate murder."

Our women are not priceless are men are not born shameless, its the society they adopt. But in the end we are the one who build the society. Lets stepup and break the stigma of presenting and accepting extravagant valuables in the name of Dowry. Every person can create a difference by Saying "NO" to the one who is asking for and to the one presenting it!